So Ready...

A light powder falls from the sky
A white blanket conceals the grass
A light wind blows in my face
My cheeks sting
Tears start in my watery eyes
The strains of a song play in the back of my head

I stand on a cliff
The day slips into evening
The sky fades from blue to purple, back to blue
Darkness falls
Civilization spreads out before me
Tiny lights flicker as they hold back the night

How is it that the same thing can make me feel so insignificant and yet so important?
How is it that the God Who made the mountains finds me lovely?
How is it that the God Who made the stars cares about the number of hairs on my head?
How is it that the God Who made the world let it nail Him to a cross?

Oh that I could understand!

So small, so weak
And yet in Him so strong...

In Him so secure
Yet before Him so frightened

One day I will give a reckoning for all my deeds
One day He will list all my faults
Am I ready to face His gaze?

The Lamb has made me spotless
I'm so ready

The Devil's Rules

Ever heard of the Game? You haven't? That's funny, because we all play it. We don't have a choice: if you live life, you play the Game. The opponent is always the same: the Devil. So you sit down at the table and the Devil says, "You pick the rules." There are two books on the table. One says, "God's Rules." The other says, "The Devil's Rules." And you think to yourself: "Well, God's not even playing the game... He's gotta be more of an impartial rule-maker than my opponent!"

So you pick up 'God's Rules' and start to flip through it...
"The Devil always loses.
Anyone on the Devil's team loses, too.
If you sin, you're on the Devil's team.
Anything wrong is sin, down to the smallest mean thought you have."

There are more, but you think to yourself, "That doesn't sound too good," and you put down "God's Rules."

Next you pick up "The Devil's Rules" and start to flip through it...
"You must obey all of the rules.
Anything wrong you do gives you points.
The more points you have, the more likely it is you'll win."
There are more, but you think to yourself, "I think I've got more of a chance to win by 'The Devil's Rules' than by 'God's Rules.'"

You look at your opponent and say, "We'll play by your rules."
And you start to play the Game. It's pretty easy... You just make all possible bad choices, which is kind of fun... You blow through, and soon the Game is finished.

You've got countless points, and you're feeling pretty smug about it. You've beaten the Devil! But the Devil seems unperturbed. He sits there for awhile, letting you gloat inside. Then he starts laughing. And that kind of freaks you out... I mean, shouldn't he be mad that he lost?
And he leans across the table and says, "I win."
"What? But I followed the rules! I made all the wrong choices and got all possible points! I win!"
"Read them again," he offers, and so you pick up the book and flip to the end, where you read the last rule.

And, just to rub it in, the Devil hands you "God's Rules." You flip to the end, where you read: "If you've sinned, turn to God. God will always accept a penitent sinner. God will erase your sin and make it like none of it ever happened. Turn to God, and you'll be on God's team. God's team always wins."

And your heart sinks as he leads you away... You call out, "I'm sorry, God! Help me!"
But the Devil laughs and says, "You chose my rules. God's nowhere in my rules."

The Devil's a liar. He is the father of lies. You can't beat him on your own: you need God. You see, the problem is, if you play by the Devil's rules, you have to play by ALL of the Devil's rules... And the last rule is: "The Devil always wins."

Perhaps...

There are a few things I know for certain:
I know that there is a God.
I know that this God loves me completely, with a perfect love.
I know that everything He says is completely true.
I know that there are people who love me.
I know that there are people whom I love.
I know that each of these relationships is imperfect and tainted by sin.
I know that, through God, each of these relationships has been redeemed for His glory.

Then there are a few things that I hope are true:
Perhaps what I am doing is what God desires for me to do.
Perhaps my plan is in line with God's plan.
Perhaps I will be able to comprehend God's plan in order to keep from hurting the people I love.
Perhaps the people that I love are the people who love me.
Perhaps these relationships will last until God calls me or the other person home.

But, then again, perhaps not...

If not, then I can know of this:
No matter what happens, whether or not my plans work out... Whether or not what I want to happen is what happens... No matter how much I screw up... God's plan is always better for me than anything I can possibly imagine, and I can rest in the knowledge that He is always doing what is best for me, in every moment of my life.

Perhaps I am already tasting the inexplicable nature of God's plan. Perhaps I am already seeing proof in my life that God is unfolding something incredible for me. Perhaps not.

But, if not, I am certain that:
Whatever God has planned for me is so incredibly amazing that no human could ever imagine it.

If what is happening now is His final plan for me, then I am absolutely content, for it is just as amazing as anything I could currently hope for.

'ding 2

In the Dark

To avoid charges of plagiarizing, and so I won't forget to, I attribute the quote in this blog post to Lemony Snicket. It came from the last book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, which is entitled Book the Thirteenth: The End. I personally believe Mr. Snicket to be a master of comedic writing, as I believe is evidenced by this quote from his book.

The phrase "in the dark," as I'm sure you know, can refer not only to one's shadowy surroundings, but also to the shadowy secrets of which one might be unaware. Every day, the sun goes down over all these secrets, and so everyone is in the dark in one way or another. If you are sunbathing in a park, for instance, but you do not know that a locked cabinet is buried fifty feet beneath your blanket, then you are in the dark even though you are not actually in the dark, whereas if you are on a midnight hike, knowing full well that several ballerinas are following close behind you, then you are not in the dark even if you are in fact in the dark. Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, as well as to be not in the dark not in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the dark about being in the dark in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nonetheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, in the park.